Emotional Intelligence

Often in life, we spend much of our time trying to shut down emotions. We might take drugs, isolate, binge watch Netflix, overeat food, we might accept unhealthy relationships so that we don’t have to feel. Additionally, sometimes people think they can heal their emotions and believe that all their feelings are just going to go away, that this too shall pass. However, that is not the case. Although emotions can be terrifying to deal with, they are an essential part of life. The minute we turn around and face those big emotions, they will usually feel acknowledged and disappear. But, they must be faced head-on because if they aren’t, they will stalk you. At Guiding Hands Healthcare, we believe that emotions are just energy; they are here to tell us something, so we must listen. So, let us help you listen to them now.much

If something is reoccurring in your life, chances are it is because of a Belief System. A Belief System is your personal story that you tell yourself every day, day in and day out, and it’s a survival skill that usually stems from childhood. My goal is to help you identify old, negative belief systems and change them into something more positive. In childhood, we are taught our BS, and through our successes, tragedies, and especially our failures, we are creating a thought system that shapes our actions. This affects everything we do; however, this BS can be changed with the right tools.

Conscious Communication – Getting What You Want with The Language You Use

Conscious Communication is a way of talking and listening that is focused on growing healthy, mutually enriching relationships. Since most relationship problems are rooted in communications that are either avoided, forced, or misinterpreted, the purpose is to provide an emotional experience that allows each person to feel safe enough to grow a quality relationship in which essential personal needs (not wants) are expressed, mutually valued, and met through natural giving.

Emotional Fitness is the key to managing your life-force energy, but how do we do that? We first need to retrain the brain and determine what drains your energy. Many thoughts and emotions threaten to suck the life-force right out of us, and then we wonder why we cannot manage our lives.

As a result, many have struggled, filling their lives with addictions, including food, alcohol, drugs, workaholism, and sex, all of which impact their health. In many cases, these addictions lead to self-destructive behaviors, creating painful lives in addition to destroying some of the closest relationships around them. There is an epidemic of people running away from anything that causes them to face the truth; they are running from their inner demons. I call these inner demons Big Emotions.

What keeps people stuck in this vicious cycle and causes them and their loved ones to suffer? It is a survival mode that stems from childhood, especially for those who had to step up as children and take responsibility. There was a past pain, a hurt that they now spend their lives trying to avoid. As a result, they stay stuck in a Belief System based on a story they assigned meaning to. They unconsciously hold on to the negative energy of their past; they can’t let it go because they don’t even know it’s there. These survival skills have worked for many people for a very long time. However, this survival mode which has helped them in the past comes at a high cost, and it is the very thing killing them softly. Or, sometimes, not so softly.

The pain of the life-lie keeps the central nervous system on high alert and causes people to stay stuck in a vicious reptilian-brain cycle that never allows the mind to rest. Thus, many people (at least 15% of the population) suffer from addictions and severe depression. In addition, they experience mental disorders like PTSD and anxiety. If they had allowed themselves to release the past and added self-care into their lives, they would have been able to heal, create new lives, and sustain themselves for the long haul.

Why did this loss happen? In many cases, there was an underlying feeling of shame. This is why they pursued such extremes, trying to run from the pain of their past and struggling to fill that unfillable, gaping hole in their hearts. There is, however, a simple solution. It’s called feeling those Big Emotions. When people will themselves to turn around and face their feelings, especially the ones they have been running from their whole lives, what they will usually find is that Emotions Are Just Energy, and those emotions will usually fade away within five to ten minutes; this is called Collapsing an Emotion.

Inner Child: What exactly is this so-called inner child? Does it actually exist? And why should we care?

Destructive behavior takes various forms, from subtle self-sabotage and self-defeating patterns to passive hostility, and sometimes including severe self-destructive symptoms and addictions. By connecting with the inner-child, we gain access to new information about our unhealed wounds and unmet needs.

The critical inner voice we hear has usually developed from painful early life experiences, and it works against us or those close to us. As adults, we unconsciously adopt and integrate this pattern of negative thinking toward ourselves and others. When we neglect to recognize and separate from this inner critical voice, we enable it to influence our behavior and shape the direction of our lives. It may sabotage our progress or relationships, blocking us from experiencing the lives we want to lead and from becoming who we are meant to be.

If we have been taught to ignore our own personal needs and instead concentrate on meeting others’ needs, there is a good chance that we have developed at least some codependent traits. Codependents often struggle to recognize their self-worth unless receiving constant affection and love from other people. This desperate need for reassurance and love often leads codependents to relinquish their own identity and have weak boundaries in relationships. Fortunately, addressing codependency and lack of boundaries may be of great help, as we learn how to set healthy boundaries and love ourselves without needing others for reassurance.

A healthy relationship — most importantly — a loving relationship is full of happiness and joy. Humans are designed to interact with others pleasantly and beneficially, although this isn’t always the case. But, unfortunately, we sometimes let the wrong people into our life, and our relationship with them isn’t always nice, healthy, or enlightening, and it’s rarely fruitful. At Guiding Hand Healthcare, we help you navigate what healthy relationships are and what they are not. We do this by giving the clients tools to help set boundaries in relationships, whether intimate or personal because in relationships, we teach people how to treat us.

Suffering happens when we refuse to accept pain. Radical acceptance means accepting everything about yourself, your current situation, and your life without question, blame, or pushback, because, while pain is inevitable in life, suffering is optional. This is because fighting against something often makes it worse; We at Guiding hands Healthcare believe that accepting yourself, your situation, and your mental health status can help alleviate pain and suffering by creating a supportive environment that allows clients to thrive and grow.

We create and sustain productive members of society. The problem ends here.
Bryan Aleman
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